The Jamaican said, "Who tell yuh dat?"
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Jamaican Badman
Two Jamaican badman are walking through the countryside.
They haven't eaten for days and are starving.
They see a tree in the distance, and as they get nearer,they notice it is draped with rashers of bacon; smoked bacon, crispy bacon, boiled bacon, bacon bits, grilled bacon, jerk bacon, Canadian bacon, all sorts of bacon.
"Look deh ! ",says the first badman, " a bacon tree to rahtid ! And we ah dead fe hungry from Dudus gone? "
Salivating, he desperately runs up to the tree .
As he gets close, he's gunned down by a hail of bullets from every angle.
His friend shouts, "wha 'appen? wha 'appen?
The first badman replies, " rass claat, dis a nuh bacon tree, is a 'ham-bush'!
They haven't eaten for days and are starving.
They see a tree in the distance, and as they get nearer,they notice it is draped with rashers of bacon; smoked bacon, crispy bacon, boiled bacon, bacon bits, grilled bacon, jerk bacon, Canadian bacon, all sorts of bacon.
"Look deh ! ",says the first badman, " a bacon tree to rahtid ! And we ah dead fe hungry from Dudus gone? "
Salivating, he desperately runs up to the tree .
As he gets close, he's gunned down by a hail of bullets from every angle.
His friend shouts, "wha 'appen? wha 'appen?
The first badman replies, " rass claat, dis a nuh bacon tree, is a 'ham-bush'!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Why Men Wear Earrings
Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?
A man is at work one day when he notices that his Jamaican co-worker is wearing an earring.
The man knows his Jamaican co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense"
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my car."
(I always wondered how this trend got started)
A man is at work one day when he notices that his Jamaican co-worker is wearing an earring.
The man knows his Jamaican co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense"
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my car."
(I always wondered how this trend got started)
Monday, September 27, 2010
The Jamaican and the lawyer
A lawyer and a Jamaican citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that Jamaicans are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.
So the lawyer asks if the Jamaican would like to play a fun game.
The Jamaican is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the Jamaican's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?'
The Jamaican doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it's the Jamaican's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the Jamaican and hands him $500.
The Jamaican pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Jamaican up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'
The Jamaican reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
The lawyer is thinking that Jamaicans are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.
So the lawyer asks if the Jamaican would like to play a fun game.
The Jamaican is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the Jamaican's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?'
The Jamaican doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it's the Jamaican's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the Jamaican and hands him $500.
The Jamaican pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Jamaican up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'
The Jamaican reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
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